Exercise classes at California Wow have proven to be anything but boring. For our first trip to the gym Marian and I opted for a step class. The schedule said "Step Evolution B/1". Marian has taken a variety of step classes before and I'm fit and coordinated (kind of). Beginner/Level 1 shouldn't be a problem right?
Before the class began a middle-aged, heavier set man came over to where Marian and I had set up our "steps". He introduced himself and asked if we had taken step before. He obviously knew we hadn't been to any previous class with him. We mentioned our varying level of expertise (mine being zero). He noted that today's class is somewhat challenging, but if we kept coming it would get a lot easier, and we should give it a try regardless. We thanked him for the warning and assured him we would be fine. I thought to myself "it's a level one step class not a dance competition and this man doesn't look overly fit. How hard could it be? Yeah I'll likely miss a few steps, but that's fine."
Our second indication that this class may be a bit of a challenge came when our instructor made a few opening comments. Usually this wouldn't be an issue, except that I had no idea what he was saying. Apparently our step class would be taught in Thai. Everything went downhill from here. As Marian put it "this was a step class like I've never seen before." Not only was it taught in Thai, so that we were consistently behind on the instructions, but as it moved along the routine gained speed and complexity. This was more like an advanced dance aerobics class that just happened to incorporate a step into their routine. And, with the exception of Marian and I, it appeared as though this class had been training for months. For about 5 minutes I decided to make up my own routine, I can dance around a step too you see. This decision provoked odd looks from the woman beside me. It would seem that fumbling along was more appropriate. To top it off at the end of class the instructor asked us to turn our steps so that they would face the right wall. We then proceeded to do the routine facing the wall, not the mirror. This would have been fine if Marian and I were in the back left corner, we would have been behind everyone, but we had chosen the back right corner. The class, who had the routine polished, were now facing us, and we were now facing a wall. Needless to say this was the most embarrassing and simultaneously hilarious step class I have ever attended. And never again will I assume a middle-aged, heavy set man cannot also be nimble on his toes.
So, Step Evolution B/1 was off our list of classes to attend. Next was yoga. Marian has been taking yoga for over 8 years, myself for over 3. Between the two of us we had done at least a couple of classes in most of the types offered at the gym. Sunday night we decided to head to the gym for an Ashtanga yoga class. There must have been very, very small font indicating that this Ashtanga class was only for gymnasts, dancers and synchronized swimmers. Wherever that warning was written Marian and I missed it. This yoga instructor was the most intense I have ever encountered. He put Bikram to shame. He had us doing yoga flows so quickly that you could barely breathe - even though yoga is supposed to include concentration on the breath. He described "dancers pose" as "reach behind you, grab a hold of your heel and pull it up to touch the back of your head". Are you kidding? Apparently not, the rest of the class followed by placing their toes within inches of their head. Another "pose" was the splits, held for 30 seconds. If I had introduced myself to the entire yoga class the number of people I know who can actually do the splits would have increased 10 fold. It was unreal. The class proceeded in a similarly intense and very bendy fashion. Upon leaving the class the instructor stopped us to chat. He recommended "trying a beginner yoga class". I contemplated throwing my water bottle at him, luckily Marian has a much calmer, kinder demeanor and thanked him for the class.
Marian and I have discovered a class that we both enjoy and doesn't put us to shame - Body Combat. It's basically a kickboxing aerobics class. There is no contact and everyone is facing the mirror while you punch, elbow, kick and bounce your way to cardio bliss to upbeat pop music. The instructor is great, and instructs in English. Last night we had the good luck of standing beside what we can only assume were a dance group. Possibly a theatre dance group? There were about 10 of them, most of them men. They would be going along with the moves and then all of the sudden add a flare, like a jazz square when we should be jogging on the spot, or clapping on the 8th beat, or hand flourishes (think jazz hands) instead of a mock forward jab or cross cut. In some cases during a punching/kicking/jogging routine, one would member would instead improvise a short dance sequence that modified the boxing theme and then on the next rotation of music the entire group would follow. It was amazing! Though also distracting. Rarely do I wish I had my camera during an aerobics class, but I would have loved to capture this.
So, our lessons: 1) Thai people don't mess around with exercise, go big or go home; 2) the language of class instruction is not indicated on the schedule, make no assumptions; 3) Marian and I are "beginners" when it comes to yoga and step; 4) when you're clearly a farang, don't worry about embarrassing yourself, it's entertaining for everyone involved.
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